All that remains

October 17th 2021 ~As the moon transits the self’s lunar 12th house…

Now that you’re gone, I can love you better. For this… this is the only kind of love I have ever mastered. After all illusions come to an end. After anger shatters any wants or needs. After pain is done withstanding the time. After forms dissolve and minds cave. After thoughts are transcended, hierarchies abolished and humanness is overcome. After egos are cyclically fed and drained… all that remains is love. It is all that can remain and the only thing that persists. The only source of all its manifestations.

And if there’s no space left inside you to contain what helplessly flows in your direction, it shall float around you in different forms. It shall gently hover above you, like a cloud you can touch if you want to. It shall show up in your dreams. It shall uncover layers that once hid in blindspots. It shall render all words redundant and grow in strength with passing time.

For my heart is only at rest when it is persistently giving. It’s innately what hearts only know how best to do, even despite the mind’s objection. And so, all that will ever flow on abundantly is transparent, boundary-less and unconditional love and no promise can contain it. No words can describe it. No skin can touch it. No fragment of time can pass it. It can only be felt, it can only be carried.

I have carried you in me. I have carried you in pain, I have carried you in joy. I have carried you in sorrow, in anger, in longing and in lust. I have carried you in presences and absences. In ignorance and in growth. I shall carry you now, in celebration. In gratitude. In honour. In freedom and in abundance. The parts of me that carry you will exist loudly in the sights I see, the colours I taste, the things I touch. Everything.

What we get to be now is limitless. Unbound by just one realm. We needn’t struggle anymore to contain the cosmos in a single chord between two beings. For you and I, like every other illusorily separate being, will owe the ground our bones. We will owe the animals our flesh and skin. Past history – our names. The sky – our consciousness. A new womb – our minds; and all that will ever remain… is love.