What would you do, if goodbyes were permanent?

Remember how you had a vision of my lifeless hand as you held it? It was mine, but I wasn't there anymore? The wind blew soft, a chill in the air, but it wasn’t just the cold that made the gathering stiff, silent, and brittle—it was something deeper. Something that pressed heavily on the chest...

To the girl in the mirror

You've been running from me lately, more than you usually do... why? You know why - I couldn't bear to face the girl who's the source of pain and fear for her beloved. I haven't been able to embody my light - and while my equation with you was always as elusive as droplets on...

Misery as a prize

"Let women be, let women be! To be a little nurtured is all women need." Echoes of the voices of my past lives' husbands mock me. I once told them all, that in some future life, I'd find the love they never gave me. I'd find the sturdy rock of a man's heart to rest...

Every page I turn, there’s more to mourn

It's painful to hear you believe that I am untrustworthy. When it was you that uncovered me with questions, with unwavering presence, with love; You made me believe I belonged to your heart, that my energy comforted you. You made me believe in myself - only to tell me you never believed in me; that...

Help… nevermind.

I wonder if it's "tit-for-tat" for the perceived "everyone else gets such grace except me", well no one else gate-kept joy from me. No one else so willingly deemed me the source of fear, of sadness, of pain so deep that it couldn't have not existed before me. No one else broke me through and...

cold, cruel, clandestine & calculated

Disclaimer: This piece was written to release temporary/fleeting thoughts/beliefs tied to feelings of anger and betrayal and are not rooted in things the writer firmly believes beyond a certain energetic space. The energy embodied towards the said person/character or concept in this write up is energy that does not extend beyond the confines of the...

The mail I never got

Hi honey, I'm at this weird crossroads where past me is gone, and future me isn't here yet and present me doesn't really feel like me to me; the me before us is so young and naive that I cannot run back to him fully. I can dwell and dive into the same things he...

Little things I can’t believe weren’t real anymore for a little bit… but they’re real again (edited)

Holding your chest as you navigate through traffic. Walking out after a shower to see you waiting for me. Running down the stairs, excited to hug you. Lying down, staring at the ceiling with no walls up, talking to you. Deciding what to eat together. Deciding where to go together. Deciding to work together and...

You carry on…

My enigmatic miracle of a daughter, you're the one that lived on. So live. Home is where you make it, my love. The heart is what you fill it with. Let my love to you, be your love to you. Let my voice be your guide. No matter where you choose to be, I will...

Isn’t it betrayal, though? Isn’t it?

Isn’t it betrayal, though? Isn’t it?  To be made to walk the streets with no destination, feeling worthless, soulless, aghast.  To be made to feel safe in starvation, allowing it to burn your insides, for survival in such a cruel world requires you to repent. To be made to repeatedly feel like it’s only a matter...